Saturday, 5 November 2011

How to make the country cleverer

As always when there is real news happening, stuff like the Euro going down the tubes, countries like Greece and Italy being taken over by German bureaucrats, we get bombarded by trivia on the BBC and in the MSM. Maybe this is what the BBC regard as ‘balance’, one idiotic nonsense story for every serious one?

One topic has been the changing the clocks saga. Personally I hate the change back to GMT, this first week of November always feels like jet lag, being hungry mid morning and mid afternoon, evening twilight starting before the day has properly brightened up and the whole not helped by November typically being a time of thick dark cloud cover so I feel the whole afternoon has been stolen.

This week I just wanted to scream at the ‘blame the Scots’ rhetoric and the imbecilic comments on the BBC. I think many of these people actually believe that altering the clock somehow magically modifies the laws of physics and astronomy and creates an hour of extra daylight. 

I don’t see why we can’t just leave the clock alone and modify working and school hours as appropriate. Counties like Kent that are South and East of Greenwich might then choose to keep school hours of 9 to 3. Places like Northern Ireland where the sun rises later and the day is shorter might want to change school hours later, say 10 to 4. Businesses would follow. Scotland could even consider reducing the school hours in November, December and January and lengthening the school day between Easter and Summer – how’s that for an alternative safety strategy to save the kiddies travelling in the dark?

But I digress. The other piece of BBC trivia this week has been the hours devoted to a study that declares children born in August perform worse than those born in other months. They are youngest in their school year group, less developed and therefore worse at sports, and they end up low in confidence. It makes some logical sense I suppose although I doubt the idea is worth what we paid for it.

However it does lead me to my method for making the UK cleverer. What we do is leave the clocks on GMT. That will prevent so many people being bored and depressed by the early darkness and fewer will go to bed so early. Therefore they will have less sex. Less sex in November means fewer under-achieving August born babies. Thus the nation gets increased educational achievement levels. Is that brilliant or what!

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